Competency Summary 12 – A 12-step training package for conflict resolution. (Conflict Resolution Network) 1. Conflict is a normal part of organizational life. Disputes are not (usually) caused by “bad” people trying to be “difficult”. Rather, they result from people with good intentions with different ideas about how to achieve common goals, disagreements about which goals are worth achieving, and threats to livelihoods, productivity, resources, power, and dignity that result from such disagreements. Stress impairs the ability to resolve conflicts by limiting your ability: Differences and disagreements are about what you and your partner want. You can`t agree on when to go to the movies, how to discipline your kids if you`re having sex, or where to make the car wait. If you disagree with your spouse, it`s about something, not the other. Your spouse won`t feel like “ignorant,” “selfish,” “self-centered,” “sex addicted,” or “second-class citizens.” And keep in mind that he/she is very likely to react emotionally (i.e.
personally) to what looks like a personal attack when you characterize his or her action. This leads to conflict. Practice describing your spouse`s actions rather than characterizing them – it will pay off for your relationship and you`ll feel more grounded and safe. When people are in conflict, it means that one or more of the parties to the conflict, often all of them, do not talk to each other. The feelings are so strong and the assumptions about the opponents so strong that it is believed that the party cannot or does not want to hear. Often, during a conflict, participants talk to everyone except the person concerned. The defining element of the conflict is that people do not talk to each other. Conflict is a matter of form. Communication is based on assumptions, people lash out at each other behind their backs and there is no desire to bring others to the meeting so that there is a common understanding. When they are afraid of conflict, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you are already in a conflict situation and feel threatened, it is difficult to deal with the problem in a healthy way. Instead, you`re more likely to stop or explode in anger. Conflicts arise from large and small differences. This always happens when people disagree about their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences seem trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often at the heart of the problem. These needs can range from the need to feel safe or respected and appreciated to the need for greater proximity and privacy. Being able to manage and relieve stress in the moment is the key to staying balanced, focused and in control, regardless of the challenges you face. If you don`t know how to stay centered and keep control of yourself, you`ll be overwhelmed in conflict situations and unable to react in a healthy way. 4. In order to effectively manage conflicts, all parties must be treated with respect by the organization and by those who want to resolve the conflict. When respect for the other person`s concerns or empathy is offered, the other person`s response is to reduce some of the defensive attitude and hostility that typically occurs in conflict.
Conversely, when attacks are personalized, voices are raised, threats are intensified, the other person`s reaction is to reflect this escalation. If conflicts are to be resolved, opportunities for all parties to behave more respectfully must be fostered by leaders throughout the organization and by those most directly involved in the dispute. To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two basic skills: emotional awareness – the awareness of your emotional experience from one moment to the next – and the ability to properly manage all your feelings is the foundation of a communication process that can resolve conflicts. A word has several meanings. Sometimes your perception of a definition of a word can be completely opposite to that of others. For example, for some, “art” means something precious, but for some, “art” means something creative that is related to emotions. Differences in perception can therefore lead to differences of opinion. Let`s say you`re already involved in a conflict and how you handle your conflict determines your future position and chances of conflict. People who disagree, but are not in conflict, talk to each other. People in conflict do not talk to each other. 3.
Conflicts are largely predictable under the conditions of organizational life. Certain seasons, project cycles, stressors, mixing of project groups, personalities, etc. contribute to creating conditions that often lead to conflict situations. These types of problems arise with great regularity, through no fault of the people involved. The more we can understand such conditions, the better we can predict the conflicts that are likely to occur. There are different types of conflicts. But there are mainly two types of conflict – conflicts occur when people (or other parties) perceive that there is a threat to their needs, interests, or concerns as a result of a disagreement. While conflict is an integral part of organizational life and offers many opportunities for growth through better understanding and insight, there is a tendency to view conflict as a negative experience caused by exceptionally difficult circumstances. Challengers tend to perceive limited options and limited resources available in the search for solutions, rather than multiple possibilities that may exist “outside the box” in which we solve problems. 2.
Conflicts arise because people perceive threats to their needs, interests or concerns. If the impact of conflict is to be minimized or managed, these threats must be understood. The parties concerned must be given the opportunity to express their concerns and to know that they will be heard and respected. Strategies to effectively address these needs need to be explored within honest but realistic parameters of organizational life so that problems can truly be solved. The way to resolve conflicts is for each person to be thoughtful and personally responsible on their part for the breakdown of the relationship. In the simplest case, reflection is about consciously looking at what you are going through in order to learn about yourself so that you can act better. Here are some suggestions on how they can do this. Conflicts are different from disagreements because of their outcome, which is usually negative. From time to time, conflicts can be useful and not harmful, leading to conscious contradictions, leading to positive outcomes and better dynamics. How the dispute is monitored determines the outcome. So is it still a simple definition of conflict? We think so, but we must respect this in its elegant simplicity lies a complex set of problems that need to be addressed. Therefore, it is not surprising that a satisfactory resolution of most conflicts can be so difficult and time-consuming.
Make conflict resolution a priority instead of winning or being “right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and their point of view. Conflicts trigger strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy way, it can lead to irreparable cracks, resentment and separations. But when conflicts are resolved in a healthy way, it increases your understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships. Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, you can`t expect two people to agree on everything all the time. The key is not to fear or avoid conflicts, but to learn how to resolve them in a healthy way.
If communication between the parties is open, the disagreement does not necessarily have to turn into conflict. If the people involved in the disagreement are similar to each other, they are less likely to enter into a full-fledged conflict. In situations where there is no difference between disagreements and conflicts, any discussion where feelings are strong – and in some cases any controversy – is rejected to avoid conflict. The result is that an unequal distribution of power puts you in a situation of anger that can later turn into a major conflict. Perceptions about different things differ from person to person. The perception of war by one is different from that of the other. And this can lead to small to large conflicts. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding oneself and others. If you don`t know how or why you feel a certain way, you won`t be able to communicate effectively or resolve disagreements.
Here, only man against oneself is an inner conflict and the rest is an external conflict. .
